In exploring the comparison conundrum, the aim is to shed light on the complexities surrounding this ubiquitous aspect of human behavior, urging readers to navigate life’s journey with self-awareness and acceptance
It reminds me of a J. Cole’s song titled “Love Yours.” Following that, take note of the quote: “Comparison is the thief of joy.”
Now, let’s delve into the conversation and explore the perspectives of our guests, Mr. Ukeme Umoh and Mr. Dachief Umoh, both social analysts, on the topic of comparison. In our recent talk on Sharing Life Issues, we discussed the pressure of comparison and how comparing ourselves to others can really mess things up. People end up doing crazy stuff just to be like someone else.
- The central query emerges: Is comparison a trap?
According to Mr. Ukeme Umoh, , comparison involves scrutinizing others and perceiving a lack in oneself, fostering a desire to acquire what others possess. Comparison happens when you look at someone and think they have something you don’t. It’s about putting yourself next to that person and figuring out what they have that you don’t, and why you should have what they’ve got. Mr. Dachief Umoh expands on this, highlighting how people often place themselves on the same pedestal as those significantly above them, inadvertently dragging themselves to places they never thought possible and lengths that they never could imagine they could go. In essence, comparison is about positioning yourself beside another person, attempting to acquire what they have or to be someone you’re not.
Examining the concept of healthy comparison, Mr. Dachief Umoh dismisses the idea, asserting that there’s no such thing as healthy comparison. He argues that comparison stems from desire, not necessity, emphasizing that everyone is unique, with each person having a distinct purpose in the world. On the contrary, Mr. Ukeme Umoh holds a different view, suggesting that comparison can sometimes help overcome complacency. He believes in looking at what others are doing, especially if you feel you’ve reached the supposed end of your journey.
Dachief contends that each person has a unique life path, emphasizing that just because someone has something at 22, like a house, while another person at 50 doesn’t, doesn’t imply failure. He emphasizes that individuals should follow their own life routes without being influenced by the trajectories of others.
While comparing with someone heading in the same direction isn’t necessarily frowned upon, Mr. Dachief emphasizes the distinction between needs and wants, asserting that comparison typically arises from desires rather than genuine needs. He stressed the uniqueness of individuals, highlighting that no two people are alike, and their life journeys will never be identical. Therefore, comparing oneself with others becomes illogical, considering that various factors can influence one’s path to success. Which means you have to understand who you are in the first place, and understand where you are going to, because, someone might make it at 22 while another person is suppose to make it at 30 because of certain things that are on your path to that “making it”.
Mr. Ukeme, concurring with Mr. Dachief to some extent, introduces the idea of healthy comparison, suggesting that looking at individuals at similar life stages can provide a motivational push. If someone is achieving success in a shared pursuit, it can inspire the belief that you can accomplish the same, especially if you’re engaged in similar endeavors. While Mr. Ukeme acknowledged instances where looking at others can be beneficial, he underscored the need to be cautious and suggests doing so selectively, particularly when combating complacency.
Written by Maris “Damaris” Iloka
